Learning more about our minds and bodies and how they work together is really fascinating. Also the power of habits and not having any is something I find really dominating in my own life. In this post I share a little bit of my recent experience about habits, addiction and how my body reacts to all of that.
Loosing my grip
Habits are wonderful when you have them and awful when they start to slip into something you really don’t want them to.
For long I wanted to write a post about my morning routines. Generally I’m a morning person and I’ve always had a gift of falling asleep and waking up quickly. I didn’t understand people who snoozed. But the day that I was supposed to write and publish this post, my habits were gone… I couldn’t call myself a “morning person”. I was drowsy, tired and it was hard to get out of bed. I didn’t implement those habits anymore in my own life that I was supposed to write about. All my good habits were somehow lost. Then I understood what people ment by saying: “It’s hard to get out of bed.”
Usually I was excited about mornings but now my enthusiasm was gone. Simply put I didn’t have a reason to get up. No work, no school and I was loosing touch from my own projects like the videos I make on Youtube and my writing. At the same time I also traveled a lot and so my morning habits (and other habits) were tougher to keep ’cause my environment was changing all the time.
My good habits were successful when my environment was in place. Alone in a clear space and basically with no distractions. My things were there where they’re suppose to be and everything I needed was at my disposal. When couch surfing, that isn’t always the case and I was starting to lose my grip.
Then all of this was followed by eating unhealthy ’cause it was “easier”… Not exercising enough ’cause my running shoes didn’t fit into my suitcase. Not reading and educating myself in the mornings ’cause I was so tired from sleeping in a bed that wasn’t mine. That escalated to more unhealthy eating and more tiredness. It was a really vicious cycle.
Listening to my body
I’m a product of my habits but still my habits are easily broken.
The funny thing is, I know what’s good for me. Well, we all know but we still manage to do otherwise. The thing I’m learning the most at the moment (and struggling with) is that I would put this knowledge into action. I’ve been reading and learning about spirituality, good habits, loving myself etc. for a good three years now. But still I have difficulties to put all that information into action. Does anyone recognize this feeling?
Now we can enter the part where mind and body connection gets very interesting. My body feels amazing when I’m into my good habits: meditation, running, keeping everyday love in my LDR, eating healthy… My body freaking loves it!
But the moment I step out from my good habits, my body goes into zombie mode. Everything turns into a fog. Since becoming vegan, I’ve manged to listen to my body even more. My body reacts more quickly than ever before ’cause it’s now used to healthier habits. In a way it’s “cleaner”, so anything nasty I put into it, it shows up immediately. Before I could drink all night, smoke a pack of cigarettes, eat a Big Mac, sleep for three hours and still manage to go to work the next day for 8 hours ’cause my body was used to that. It was normal mode for me and my body at the time.
Now I feel that if my friend comes to sleep-over at my place, we eat junkfoood and go to bed late, I have a similar feelings of a hangover. Even without the alcohol consumption and all the, let’s say, worse habits that I used to have.
‘Cause now my body isn’t used to that and it’s immediately sending my a message that “Hey dude, I don’t like this shit”. But because I feel soggy already it’s easier to do the same thing over and over again. Then I feel sad and angry. I’m like “WHY do I feel this bad?” when I really know the answer.
The addiction to pain
I’ve been addicted to nicotine and maybe a little bit of alcohol. The scenario that I covered previously was part of my addiction or even maybe the whole manifestation of it. Even though I don’t do that anymore, my personality is still pron to get easily addicted to things and emotions. One thing that I’ve come to terms with that I still have some addictions… Not as bad as I used to have but still. Like being addicted to the pain that comes from eating crap, not moving my body and generally not living a healthy life. It’s like I’m telling a story to myself like “Yes, oh how awful you feel now. We’ll now you can’t do anything ’cause you feel so bad. That’s why you cannot do the *fill in the blank* ’cause you are so hurt.”
But it’s hard to admit it to yourself. Hard to accept the fact that you are responsible for your own happiness and no circumstance is really the reason, why you feel bad or why you cannot do something. Admitting to myself that maybe I’m a bit addicted to this pain ’cause it’s “part of my story”, that I keep repeating to myself and keeps me from moving forward.
The little things matter. Those small good habits matter. At least for me. I try my best to live a life that’s good for me but sometimes I get miscarried away. But without these setbacks, how can we know that we are making progress and moving forward in the right direction. When we are getting feedback from our bodies that something isn’t good for us.
Just realizing that these small things can help me on my way to a better and healthier life is a relief. Even with these kind of setbacks we can always get up and learn from it. Nobody is perfect and sometimes that knowledge really comforts me.
Now that I’ve shared a bit of my story about habits and addictions (and still barely just touched the surface of these topics), I want to ask you: Do you notice differences when you practice good habits and when you don’t? Or are you in a place that you know something is bad for you but you do it anyway?
I know this post may be a bit hard to comment on but if some thoughts or questions rose into your mind, please feel free the leave those in the comment section below 🙂
You are awesome!